Series...

The past one week was total mayhem....assignments, record work, reports ....everything in a small time capsule...the project work had taken me to times in the night which never before knew to exist....after the chaos of the last week...its time to descend into some peace...but where is it? the series exams start tomorrow...assignments again, records still more and lab internals until the brim of the university exam.....the university exam itself is in a quite compressed time schedule too...WOW....god help all of us..

The boring Seven

atlast the seventh semester is here....time does move fast. the start gave a lot to be desired. the move from the spacious, airy s5 s6 class with two doors( placed at strategic locations) to the stuffy, dark s7 s8 class was truly disheartening. this led to a considerable decline in the time we spent inside the class. we got a taste of the placement drama when thoughtworks came to campus and left without recruiting anyone. and the subjects......better left unsaid. none of them seem to be interesting and the two electives i wanted to take were cancelled( as luck would have it) due to lack of interested takers. the teachers...well a lot to be said in this regard. we have a set of new teachers this sem and except for sumam mam we dint know how the others fared. but the bubble burst soon enough. the first class found us fairly expectant ... the teacher was ambily mam. my previous acquaintance with her wasnt very encouraging. she accompanied us to 'starwars' and left us at the railway station and went home leaving us to fend for ourselves. she seemed like a frightened rabbit in a lions cage as she came to our class and taught(theoretically) a lot of unimportant stuff. neetha mam was quiet and smiling but her opening sentence was 'those who arent interested can leave the class' which disquietened the prevalent high spirits. sumam mam was her usual smiling self with her usual entrance and exit lines delivered to perfection. she told about VLSI exactly what she told about SSD and AC. the exit line was a gratifying' u r the best s7 class ever' which was delivered a bit unconvincingly.

and then the much awaited class arrived. the one of Suresh .k. he was supposedly an intellectual being with a thourough knowledge of the subject acquired through vast reading and research. we were given to believe that his class was ' the ultimate'. and when it did happen it was 'the ultimate koora'. for one thing he looked everywhere except at the class. so while he taught the tree outside the window , the door , the ceiling and the floor, we were left to follow our own pursuit of happiness. sadly it was a double hour.the first half hour i heard every word in the hope that the class would soon 'evolve'. half an hour hence, when things did not seem to be taking a turn for the better, i gave up and lost myself. after several transmission losses and returns and what seemed like an eternity of teaching i looked at the watch to find that only five minutes were past. then we engaged in the game of looking at each others faces and laughing at our own predicament. sir was droning on about probability. if david sir had killed probability for us , this man took it out of its grave and stabbed it multiple times. i watched sadly as yet another subject went down the drain in two hours time. but he left quite an impression on us. we all liked the person, approved of his wide knowledge but believed teaching wasnt quite his profession.the ritual of forming a project team followed and after multiple takes, one got fixed. then came the hunt for a seminar topic and a project guide. classes were boring and happened regularly while the applied batch NEVER had any class. my friends were getting irritable, twitchy and nervy of recent times .the same feelings would have come over me but i found refuge in food and sleep. while things arent going very well on the college side, everything was getting better in the family side and after many years , i like sitting at home better than going to college .

non sense

Staring at the computer screen for hours can afflict intense strain on your eyes ...even the fact that there is an exam tomorrow and this drastic measure is required is not justifiable when it boils down to one's eyes. still more than five hours of staring can take its toll on one and one should diversify one's resources elsewhere.that is where the concept of having a blog seems an excellent option.

Where to next??

Stepping into the threshold of my final year in college I wonder 'where to next'.... so many words seem to appear all at once but none are clear enough......CAT? GATE? GRE? and thanks to recession the fourth possibility of a JOB has shifted out of focus.....wherever it is ...it is going to be away from home and after all these years (20 lovable years) it seems real sad to go away and be away....having always been the much pampered baby at home ,having never had to live in a hostel , it is going to be very tough......so the only hope that remains is that wherever it is it will be a very good place and i get atleast one good friend so that the grief of separation is lessened .....
having had completed my education in three to four schools i have learned to be in all sorts of groups and i have loved each institution much better that the previous one ....but i have never been grief stricken at having to leave any even though it meant not seeing one's friends for a long time.....but college ......i have got attached to it more than any other ..and trivandrum is not a bad place after all .....looking back, college was fun the first year ,hell the first half of second year when i really planned going away, boring the later half of the second year, again superb the first half of third year and inseparable the latter half of third year.......more than the people it is the atmosphere there that i love , and whatever institution receives me next should have such an atmosphere ......atleast half as nice.......now is a time when you are supposed to decide where to head to next but your head is so clogged that you put it off until there is no time left ....... a lot of tests to attend and ofcourse some to prepare for and in the midst of all this have some quality fun because this may be the last best year you ve got .......so here again is a big bag of small worries ........ and all in the midst of a university exam that hasnt hit the right chord yet!

The TRANSPORTATION Problem

A day in the life of a CETian

may 12 2009,

rise and shine ....my day begins..... the day goes wonderfully well until i plan to go to college...since it is study leave time the college buses plying my route are cancelled so i should 1.opt for public transport or 2.decide not to go to college....since i cant rest without prowling around the college today i chosse,though grudgingly , option 1. i set out with a heavy heart towards the bus stop....since i have lately turned into an optimist, i beleive that a decent kulathoor bus( decent in the sense it doesnt have limbs and heads of people sticking out of every possible opening).....

At the bus stop....
for the first half an hour i do not pay any attention to other buses as i am sure that my bus would come......15 minutes later i doubt my beleif and decide i would get into a kulathoor bus even if it is crowded....still 15 minutes later even the crowded bus seems a distant hope and leaving my optimism at my feet i decide to board the next bus....
the next bus is ,incidentally, a very crowded one but to keep my word i get on and brace myself for the ride....after a short distance but a very long ride we reach ulloor and i get down ...phase 1 of my journey successfully completed...
ulloor is a place which receives 50 percent of the suns rays on a global scale and having fortunately worn black i selfishly absorb all of it ....after another 15 minutes i am half cooked and turn golden brown ;and still no sign of the kulathoor bus i get on board an attingal bus....again the entire world seems to be headed for my destination...i wedge myself into what looks like a void....either due to my height or due to my passive wooden expression, people usually mistake me for a rod and by the time the bus reaches chavadimukku i have several women clinging on to me for dear life....i detach myself from them and squeeze out .....after safely landing on solid earth i turn back and wonder ..where was the space i came from?...the bus resumes its journey like a container containing a large compressible fluid.... phase 2 successfully completed!

now the walk begins...
since i detest carrying an umbrella the sun again bears me faithful company and after 5 minutes of walking a fully cooked me mount the college stairs and head to the class...

and then to hours of soldering a mini project that eventually did not work......skipped lunch didnt get time to have tea and then fortunately got a bus that took me home ....
good day
good day...

Worries

I have been deeply worried for the past few days.....the mini project submission is due on wenesday and we are still on square one.....and the guy we trusted our pcb fabrication with has succeeded in nothing save teaching me some facts:
1. i hate cheats
2. i am not fit to run a business
3. being polite is not always good....
4. i am very silly...i get worried over anything and everything

after running aournd for over a week we are still where we started.....and my spirits are at an all time low.....yes i have only this small worry in this world (gud enuf)....but it is getting to my nerves....

the guy at zoom (whom we now call fraud) doesnt believe our circuit will work...but he took a week to realise that....and one day from submission he tells us confidently that it aint gonna work.....
:-(

Beneath The Mask

The faces they wear,the glow of their ware
in life perfect artistes they are
beaming faces,polite words
for the sake of those who come and go
for we who remain,swears and abuse
we never praise them with hollow words
who come and go are of priveleged sorts
the depth of their shallow words will never be gauged
but for them sweet words and smiles
for we who serve throughout the day
our love is just a matter of course
our favours just part of a chain
for we are destined to live in servitude
they shout like wild of favours done
but are grimly silent of those received.

the uttered words pierce my sensitive being
like thorns,shedding my souls blood
to be master of oneself ,yet slave of others
my self pride can suffer no more!!
my mind bursts, out comes unspoken words
of thousand sufferings borne in silence
eyes speak of tears shed aside darkness
my twisted mouth forms silent words
of feelings repressed rebukes suppressed
my face speaks of my souls agony
of sharp blows dealt with pointed words

when the day comes ,when we are gone
it is then the know our worth
their faces tear,thier make up smear
those silent words find voices loud and clear
wind lends them wings taking them far
all might know of distress borne in patience
and shed tears while a silent soul departs!!

The Real Slaves

slavery was abolished years ago...so you might be wondering what my interest is in this long forgotten issue....but it is something which has not ceased to exist...only this time it is not as obvious..there are basically two kinds of slaves...
one-the ones who are sold in markets ,separated from parents,made to work for nothing,brutally exploited...well i choose to call it physical form of slavery....my interest does not lie in this sect ....their problems have been looked into ,debated over and solutions sought and found during the past years
my thoguhts are concentrated on the second group of people...ones who are not obvious slaves ...i choose to call them emotional slaves...
this is a group of people who depend on others for emotional fulfilment...their hapiness ,sorrow,success and failures are dependent on the whims and moods of others....these are people who arent sold in markets by others....but these are ones who has sold their own souls to others...because they think its safer with them.,,...they deem themselves inferior in intellect or seem to lack the so called 'decision making' capacity and rely on the 'born leaders'....blindly follow their decisions....
even in the most personal of issues they need the guidance of their soulkeepers.they open their minds out to these people and trust them more than themselves......the leaders sometimes turn to be more than just intelligent....they do not influence the thoughts of the other in an obvious manner ...instead they give advice....the following of which is entirely at the others discretion.....but the advice will be put in such gentle terms ....with such bright prospects that the other is sure to follow it....but the slaves never get the impression that they are under the other's power...they feel that they were just helped in making a decision and that the final decision itself is a product of their own thought......
just a word of caution for these emotional slaves......the person who can choose the best for you is yourself!!