Solitary Confinement

inspired by a story titled 'the bet' learnt at school.


I was sentenced for solitary confinement because I did not accept the new King. They said that i had committed a grave offence but my idea of crime was far different from theirs. For me , crime was declaring oneself as king of a people and coercing their obedience, snatching their money and spending it on luxury while the true owners live in squalor, denying education which is a beggar's only asset, pushing basic necessities of life far above the common grasp by demanding celestial prices and every other unjustifiable deed that the new King has took upon himself to enforce and I said as much. The last chance of mercy was thus dispelled and the king had no qualms in ordering me for ten years in solitary confinement.He ordered that this was a better punishment to severing my head at the guillotine because ten years with only my shadow and breath to bear me company would leave me deranged for life... a fitting end to one who was insane enough to oppose the king.
And thus began my life in prison. I was soon engulfed by the four massive stone walls .at nights i had nightmares that the walls were closing in on me crushing me beneath their unscrupulous solidity. during day time i spent hours reminiscing my past life , reliving them in full spirit , burning them into memory so that they would never leave me....I was alone here so I cried my heart out, my eyes dry. Food was brought at regular intervals. I tried to keep track of time by noting when the food arrived but the futility of the exercise soon dawned on me and i lost myself to the deep gorges of time. Solitude crept into me from all sides.....
"fatigued and famished, I lie, a mere slave
with bonds of time piercing my bones
memories i try to clutch in vain
desert me and move into the shadows
left here to live, abandoned and alone
to let the past prey on my soul
and let the future dwell in my thoughts
my mind explores ways as yet unknown
where i meet fears as yet unfathomed
wheels of time turn crushing my dreams
but hope lives for ever in my mind and soul"

it was one fine morning when i was running these morose thoughts over in my mind that i realized i was not alone. The sights and sounds of nature, alive and noisy caught my attention...several birds were engaged in a spirited conversation outside the prison walls...days, may be years of solitude have sharpened my hearing skills. The paradox of the situation gave me a thrill. here i was, condemned to solitude, but i was anything but alone. Sight was beyond reach but still i can percieve the falling rain, swishing wind and the birds flying to and fro shouting out greetings to their kin. the rain drops that still clung idly to the air wafted in through the bars at the top of my cell...invisible but betraying their presence when they occasionally came in contact...like a baby's kiss...soft , sweet and warm. the wind was my constant companion bringng me news of the outside world....it brought the fragrance of flowers in spring, the smell of wet earth in rain, and sounds of everyday life uttered far away during nights. Maybe my fancy but i can hear the rumbling sea at night, the waves tirelessly licking at the shore....my monotony was nothing compared to the sea's and still it continued its destiny without complaint. another companion was the guard who used to bring me food. he pushes the tray through the small opening under the door and took it back the same way. but i could hear his footsteps and making guesses about his height, build and what he looked like gave me immense satisfaction. i imagined his life, his wife and kids. how happy they would be when they hear his footfall in the dark alley that leads to their home.

one day, the door, that impenetrable piece of metal that had kept back the world , opened. I said a silent farewell to the generations of birds who have passed by my cell, to the faithful wind, to everything that only this stay had made me appreciate and walked out into the open. i revelled in the suns rays as it blanketed me in its warmth just as a mother would wrap her baby , and hungrily took in the beautiful sights around. I wanted to scream out that i was still sane that the punishment was nothing to me but kept silent because ten years had made me wise and i knew better than to argue with fools.

poem: Alone

disclaimer: 'I' referred to in the poem is not me.

Even when the world around
carry on their noisy chatter
I feel alone in the crowd that surround
my mind shuts out, my senses scatter.

while I speak well and always smile
to the faces I pass, all day I glance
my mind feels void all the while
amidst its purposeful happy stance.

To live in a world where I am loved
where happiness broods ,comforts choke
but no more free to speak out aloud
my mind is hidden beneath its locks

I am a stranger to my own thoughts
I dare not think for fear of sorrow
while around me , my life clots
where every day is like the morrow.

story:Waiting....

it was tuesday. he had told that he would be back on tuesday when she gave him a tearful farewell last week. had he told a lie to comfort her, to spare her the sorrow so that he could say goodbye while she smiled?...... no...she mustnt let these thoughts take hold of her...he was true to his word. even her father thinks so...so if he says he'll be back he WILL be back. she was leaning onto the window panes , her face pressed onto the glass , craning her neck to catch the first view of his smiling countenance when he came down the street , singing to himself.....and she would give him her best smile...he had always said that she had a beautiful smile.....her mother kept calling to her from the inner recesses of her home..but she was determined that she wouldnt budge till she caught sight of him....she stayed there reminiscing the sweet moments he had presented her with. it was sad that her father did not encourage her meeting him....he liked him but was wary about her meeting him on a regular basis...but thats how all fathers are made ,arent they?.....she heard a distant sound...the sound of a shuffle her ears were straining to hear...was it really him or was it her mind playing tricks on her.......her mother called yet again.... " i am coming..he is here"......he came straight to her house ,not noticing the waves and hails of her neighbours.....she knew she always came first and she liked it that way......her father came out...he gave a sigh...the candy man has come yet again....he liked him but did not like his child getting addicted on candy...nowadays she refuses to go to school every tuesday unless she gets her ration of candy......grudgingly he bought her her favourite brand of candy....when the vendor was about to go she, nibbling on her precious peice of candy but with tears peeking from her baby blue eyes, asked,"when will you come again?"....he smiled and said"next tuesday" .........and he left....she stared after him and came inside...her mind hardened for a wait till next tuesday.....

Book Review: The Final Theory

This book is an entertaining read for physics enthusiasts;still, the book is in such simple a language that even those who are not too deep into physics can appreciate it. It revolves around astrophysics but the terms used are elaborated for the sake of non physicists so that at no point the reader is at a loss . The story in a nutshell: Einstein ,during his last days was bent on finding a unified theory which would explain all electromagnetic and gravitational phenomena. But his followers believed that he passed away without getting hold of the theroy. the story begins when the protagonist gets a call from a detective asking him to go to a city hospital where his teacher at princeton (with whom he had published a paper on two dimensional representation of the universe) is admitted with fatal injuries. The teacher tells him that Einstein did get hold of the unified theory but was apprehensive of the consequences that would pursue if his theory was used for non- peaceful purposes. Therefore he did not publish his theory.But he did not destroy the theory as it was too beautiful. Instead he gave it to three of his students to safeguard. two of them were already murdered and the third one is in the hospital bed about to die. he trusts the hero with a password which is a set of numbers and asks him to save it from an unscrupulous gang that is after the theory. there begins the story. the hero sets out to find the theory but the police are after him because he is the only link they have in the murder and the gang is after him because they know his teacher had transferred the secret to him. but he himself has no idea what to do with the set of numbers he had. what follows is an enthralling story of adventure , horror and suspense with the scientific terms so dexterously interspersed with the story element that it never gives the impression of a physics journal. Infact astrophysics sets the stage for a suspense thriller, but the reader can appreciate both the science as well as the stroy with equal vigour.The story ends along the usual lines with the good winning over the bad forces still a lot of surprises are in store towards the end of the story.

Where to next??

Stepping into the threshold of my final year in college I wonder 'where to next'.... so many words seem to appear all at once but none are clear enough......CAT? GATE? GRE? and thanks to recession the fourth possibility of a JOB has shifted out of focus.....wherever it is ...it is going to be away from home and after all these years (20 lovable years) it seems real sad to go away and be away....having always been the much pampered baby at home ,having never had to live in a hostel , it is going to be very tough......so the only hope that remains is that wherever it is it will be a very good place and i get atleast one good friend so that the grief of separation is lessened .....
having had completed my education in three to four schools i have learned to be in all sorts of groups and i have loved each institution much better that the previous one ....but i have never been grief stricken at having to leave any even though it meant not seeing one's friends for a long time.....but college ......i have got attached to it more than any other ..and trivandrum is not a bad place after all .....looking back, college was fun the first year ,hell the first half of second year when i really planned going away, boring the later half of the second year, again superb the first half of third year and inseparable the latter half of third year.......more than the people it is the atmosphere there that i love , and whatever institution receives me next should have such an atmosphere ......atleast half as nice.......now is a time when you are supposed to decide where to head to next but your head is so clogged that you put it off until there is no time left ....... a lot of tests to attend and ofcourse some to prepare for and in the midst of all this have some quality fun because this may be the last best year you ve got .......so here again is a big bag of small worries ........ and all in the midst of a university exam that hasnt hit the right chord yet!

Poem: Weightless

I stared in fear at the dark gloom
the calm waters with their turbulent depths
and saw,staring back, a loser's face
beckoning from the menacing black

I take a plunge into the icy cold
and could feel thorns on my flesh
but i go deep, down and down
weighted by my guilt

I reach the bottom, the end, and
laying down my weights i move up
now my sorrows lie buried in the secretive depths
while i float high above
on the peripheral calm, weightless, free!

Favourites

My favourite lines of poetry.....


i dont know what this is called or who wrote it....it is about someone who was exiled to a remote island and his frustrations at the isolation and abandonment all around him...

I am monarch of all i survey
my right there is none to dispute
from the centre ,all around the sea
i am the king of the foul and the brute

and now comes the best lines
"oh solitude! where are the charms
that the sages had seen in thy face
better dwell in the midst of alarms
than reign in this horrible place"

given the context of the poem these lines are quite fitting and true.

some lines from the light of other days by thomas moore

context: someone who had turned old lamenting at the loss of his cheerful boyhood years and "the eyes that shone now dimmed and gone"...ie.the friends he had lost

when i remember all
my friends so linked together
i ve seen around me fall
like leaves in wintry weather

i feel like one who tread alone
some banquet hall deserted
whose lights have fled
whose garlands dead
and none but he departed.....

touching in the context of having to leave your friends.

now something simple yet good

i guess this is by wordworth

"'tis my faith that every flower
enjoys the air it breathes"

shows the beauty of life

and now a malayalam poem....
this poem seems like a narration by a woman who is about to marry but reading deeper we see that it infact speaks about a persons appointment with death......

ente veli by g.shankarakurup

"kaalamen shirasinkal aniyikkyayaai mulla maala
bhaalathil chaarthi kazhinju varakkuri"
although it seems like a bride getting ready infact it means that time has adorned my hair with white flowers(meaning greying of hair at oldage) and has brought in wrinkles in my forehead.

most of these i came across at school but it is now that i appreciate their beauty more.