Treading on

The dark landscape, ahead loom
warning me of the impending doom
I pause, unsure, fearing the fall
and tread lightly, in steps small.

The moon, behind rainclouds hid
casting shadows onto the mid
of the black expanse that lay before
like the sea in some alien shore

my feet on a search  for firm ground
my ears strain for the slightest sound
my eyes try to pierce through the dark
while I, on this journey, embark

I move on, oblivious to the time
through paths filled with dust and grime
till red shot through the sky's mien
like blood from a severed vein

and soon the sun rose, spilling its charm
on a new day, serene and calm
and  I behold the beauty ahead
that was hidden by the night dead

the stream, like silver, winding along
sprawling green meadows, wide and long
green trees and flowers in full bloom
raise my mind from fear and gloom

I tread on, my face in smiles
journeying through sunlit miles
drinking in the beauties blend
happy, till my journey's end

The Final Days

College is coming to an end soon...weirdly enough, something is missing in my demeanour...sorrow? may be so....I know I am going to miss college and some of the people in it but still the sense of missing never goes beyond the level of sense... instead of feeling sad at the cessation of the so called golden days of life (read college days) I am just left with a thrilled anxiety of what the next place has got in store..and if I had been a bit troubled at having to leave college a few months back, I find myself, to my own surprise, happy to say goodbye. Time moves on, and it has boiled down to the last few days, few in the sense it can be counted on your fingers, yet their is no sense of belonging, just a curious sense of longing for change..for a new place and a fresh set of people..oddly enough, I am sure that once I am at a new place I am going to grieve the loss of these days, when the whole of ones time is ones own. But as of now, its goodbye with a smile!! :D

Whats in a name

I was recently clearing up some clutter in my house when i came across an old toy of mine. it was blue with a spongy feel. though it had accumulated a lot of dirt over the years of hibernation it was forced into, it still retained its blue colour and i remembered in a flash what we had called it back then - bluean..simple and concise. memories of my other toys- reddan, joker , all named according to appearance flooded back and i wondered how i had gone from the simplicity of youth to the arrogance of teenage and now,to the sophistication of youth and how it had been reflected in something so silly as the naming of a toy.
from the association of colours and looks into names we had grown into giving better suitable names to our toys and thus were born pooja, kalyani, deepika, betty and so on. the older ones still remained close at heart and continued in their prominent positions in our toy racks.
growing further up, the arrogance of teenage rushed in and playing with toys was no longer "the" thing. so the toys we got in that period still remain orphaned and anonymous. and once the days of teenage gave way to youth, that inner longing for childhood expressed itself and i was back into the wonder land of toys. but now, i had to take the sophistication of a "wise" youth back into childhood , so the books i read influenced the names i gave. and now i have a puppy named louis john gresham, a teddy named micheal william fitzgerald and two dolls named elizabeth jane montgomery and richard frederick montgomery .the latest addition to this royal entourage is elinor merlin montgomery whose naming ceremony racked many a brain.
and now as i see my old toy sitting beside these royal namesakes, i understand that whatever i call them , they remain lifeless, uttering nothing in response and sigh at the futility of many an hour spent in searching for that perfect name!

First Year

we did have a peek of our seniors when we went to complete the admission formalities. the first day came and i began the day on a high note. i took the college bus where i didn't get much ragging because i was soon pronounced a "paavam". the half hour journey by bus, standing in the din interiors of the battered yet crowded ksrtc bus was a first time for me and this had gone on to become a part of my life in the coming years. the bus drove into bus bay and i felt like i had landed on moon. the only time i came to college, i came by the front gate. i hardly knew where i was and the only thing i knew about my destination was that it was at some place called room no 108. a senior(my sisters friend) took me to class and thus began the best days of my life!. the class was almost filled as i walked in. i hardly looked at anyone but noticed that there were very few girls. i procured a seat in second bench which was safe as you are neither too close to the hot area neither are you too far away. the first class was taken by navas sir. he began the class by elaborating his "different" style of teaching and went on to speak about clipping and clamping circuits when one hardly knew what a diode was. i wondered if everyone else in class knew all this and the boy who kept telling all the answers provided little comfort.the first hour was over and then they came. they asked the girls to sit near the window and made us all stand up and wish good morning. by that time the area outside our class had become a hot spot as the information about the beauty of a particular classmate spread through the various higher semesters. we were shivering like leaves by then and i wondered why i haven't feared anyone else in my life so much. then things were pure sailing as teachers took care of our protection and stood guard outside our classes. i started a friendly relation with aswathy, our class rep, and it was her companionship that enabled me to know a good portion of students of our batch in the first year. the next day onwards we went for walks around college and though we were still afraid of ragging, the intensity of fear was decreasing every day. we even had the cheek to go to the mechanical department during the initial few weeks of class in our workshop uniform. the subsequent days were all enjoyable even with the ragging. i was asked to write an assignment for a senior and i made the mistake of showing some sincerity and gave back a neat assignment in beautiful handwriting. that mistake ensured the fact that i spent a good portion of my time writing assignments. i even became the default assignment writer to some seniors in my bus.
we had covered almost the entire college during our afternoon walks and our visits to the canteen grew frequent. we had a wonderful christmas celebration (without permission), when i got to knew many more people in class. then genesis came and we were all immersed in fighting for the much coveted top spot which the mechs took away from us with a lead of one point. my participation in jam and the subsequent experiences led me to decide not to speak in college ever and it was goodbye to old speaking days too.the spot dance and group song events were superb with good crowd turnout and huge amount of noise. and then series came and went. we went for our first tour to vegaland when i grew closer to my classmates.my skills in workshop led me to spending an entire day in fitting with a file in hand and at last i threw the tool in and quit. and then it was time for university exams and the first year soon got over.

Goodbye??

Four years in College getting over...so quick and yet so rich in experiences.school was over much before i wanted it to be and even in the sorrow of having to say goodbye to school days, having to shift from Ernakulam where every single friend of mine is, i couldn't wait to enter college, that place where everyone spends the most enjoyable and memorable time of their lives. I did have my apprehensions about joining college....
1.being the last rank admitted to EC in merit i was wondering whether i would fit in with my 'buji' classmates.
2. i knew next to nothing about electronics. i surprised my physics professor in 12th by failing to identify a capacitor. the capacitor had been my foe ever since.
3. i had no friends in this new place. there were hundreds of students here and i hardly knew three people.that was okay as that meant getting to meet so many new people.(but my first day into college and i knew that my wish of getting to know every person in college would never come true.)
4. those frightening species called seniors who allegedly lurked in corners and lay in ambush waiting to pounce upon you and rag you to pieces. the many stories of ragging which i heard had me in tenterhooks.
the stories of CET i heard from my cousin who passed out before i entered had me anxiously waiting for the commencement of the course. but the government decided to mess things up and i had to spend months without a tv, a computer or even a library membership. i went back to old times when man cared only about food and sleep.
and finally the day came when i stepped into CET

Summer Showers...again

As the unbearably hot weather continues to grip the city and scorch the people in its unrelenting infernal blaze, the evening sky brought a surprise ...threatening clouds in grey loomed high over the sky casting a gloom on everything that the sun's vengeance had set on fire..the winds let out a shudder and was accompanied by a chill instead of the familiar dusty hot air. and soon, the clouds gave way and the much awaited music,of the first water drops falling on the ground, could be heard. the ground, withered by the cruel sun drank up the rain greedily to purge itself of the pent up heat that it had gathered over the many hot days. trees who seemed to have lost their souls livened and everything changed from withered-subtle-dead to a celebration, a riot of colours. " the intoxicating smell of rain falling on earth" wafts in through the open windows and bring with it a promise of better days, of comfort and beauty after the harsh weather of yesterdays. may the rains be as dominant as the scorching summer was!!

Malfunction

Of late I ve noticed that electronics equipment tends to malfunction, more than it used to, around me. I had put down the fact that i never get outputs for lab exams to clumsy work on my side and a superstitious belief that i wont get output every odd semester. yet CROs had malfunctioned, power supplies had gone awry and the circuit itself had misbehaved on many occasions.
Now the issue has gone serious and it is everyday items like mobile phones and computers that put me to test. the landline phone in my house is somehow connected to the neighbouring line, which we( bujis) might call crosstalk, and every private conversation of mine is now a conference between the sender(me), receiver(whomsoever i am calling) and the third party( neighbours). and everytime someone calls their phone our phone rings for company. i had been putting up with a lot of crosstalk of late and had practically stopped using the phone.as if to remind me that this world is not entirely my own, my mobile phone has started having mysterious visitors too.
in one incident i called a friend (say D). i got someone else on the line. i could hear him speak and D could hear him speak. he could hear both of us speak. but we couldnt speak to each other. we tried to get him to act as our channel and pass on messages between us but he didnt find it an interesting pass time and didnt humour us.in another recent incident i called another friend A and instead of her "sweet" voice, got the hardy voice of a man who asked me 'which part of the temple i was standing at'. i disconnected and tried again and got my friend.
and then the computer thought of playing tricks. i asked for twitter, signed into it and what do i get...my gmail inbox .MAGIC (and black magicfor sure)
it is a jinx alright, a curse of the innumerable electronic components i have broken, burnt or mercilessly pulled off..

Mourning

Wanted to begin the year with a happy poem but this is what i got instead.


The shutters came down, the candles were blown
the flowers dried up, in their vases unknown
She was clad in a gown of gloomy black
her beauty hid beneath a veil so dark

It was raining all day, with thunder that stay
as if the sky knew that he had gone away
Sunshine stayed out of the room so dim
shy to intrude in the acute grief within

People came, shed tears and went
leaving the grieving widow to vent
her grief and memories of days spent.

Their words and hurts, many did repent
speaking in subdued tones that lent
a sepulchral quiet to the air's teary scent.

As a week passed, the shutters came up
the flowers were changed, in their vases arranged
the noise of daily life resumed
and the sun,with its warmth and light entered
the room,driving away all the gloom
but the widow sat alone, as in a reverie
visage vacant, lament latent!!