With Nature

Come vacation and a trip is always in the air. This time though, it was a one day trip. Morning saw us starting off, along with the suns rays to paalaruvi,which is around 90 km from our place. it was my first trip to the place. the journey took us above a mountain, through the many meandering roads that cut into the surface, like a serpent. the ride through the hair pin curves are a bit unsettling, if you have had no food and i was housing butterflies in my stomach when we reached the top. on the way we stopped to drink in the lust green scenery. a chill had descended on us as we started the climb and it got more pronounced as we snaked our way to the top. there were tall mountains reaching to the sky, covered in a velvet curtain of greenery, all around and there was a constant wind blowing, one that was cool and brought in the smell of the many fragrant bushes that inhabit these mountain slopes. once at the top, the road levelled out , leaving more room to appreciate the surrounding sights.
Paalaruvi,a tumbling cascade of cool water, medicinal from its constant camaraderie with the shrubs and herbs of the mountain, has in store for the visitors, a breath taking beauty, an awe inspiring magnificence that leaves us to gape at the insignificance we hold in comparison to its enormity and beauty.the falls is strictly off limits currently but there is a small path that forks out from the main road at the entrance, which leads us to a secluded spot. we had breakfast at the opposite side of the bank, after crossing the knee deep waters,with plates in our hands.there is a slight current, but nothing huge to take you of balance.the water is very cool and the first dip sends shivers,heightened by the cool winds that are forever in motion.. all around trees stand tall, atop huge mountains, while the water flows like a shiny mirror, down the mountain. a snake was spotted, so the safety of the place cannot be vouched for. there is a swing nearby, for that film like experience.
we reluctantly left the place as we had other places to visit.kuttalam had nothing in store except bathing bodies (people were washing loads of clothes and taking elaborate baths with soaps and shampoos), so we left the place in a jiffy.next stop, thenmala...by then the chill of the morning had given way to the scorching heat of the noon and no one were upto climbing to the top of the dam except a few of us. the climb was a bit tough, given the heat but the view from the top was awesome...the water lapping on to the reservoir walls, trees half submerged...everything added to the beauty.the drive down was equally bad, with its twists and turns but it was worth the pain.

The road leads on

The road stretches far, before me , behind me
I walk alone, not seeking and not sought
People pass by stopping to smile
Some a glance, a word or a passing remark
While some walk along, pushing me on
holding me steady while I trip and fall
Then they tire , not catching up
and fade away , urging me to move on

People pass by laden with treasures
yet fatigued under their crunching weight
and leave them by the side of the road
to move on, free, fast and light.
Some others pick up these treasures
and move on looking for still more..
Oh, by the cruel twist of fate
those who have, wish to abandon
and those abandoned, wish to have...

The road stretches far, on and on
some ways tree lined, shady and cool
the pleasant fragrance of wayside flowers
and the melodious tunes of birds
some ways scorching, searing and hot
with the stench of stagnant life
and the melancholy wail of the birds..

yet we move on and on,not looking back
until we round a curve and behold
the orchard, the final destination
and recline to rest our tired souls...

Series...

The past one week was total mayhem....assignments, record work, reports ....everything in a small time capsule...the project work had taken me to times in the night which never before knew to exist....after the chaos of the last week...its time to descend into some peace...but where is it? the series exams start tomorrow...assignments again, records still more and lab internals until the brim of the university exam.....the university exam itself is in a quite compressed time schedule too...WOW....god help all of us..

Rhyme: Spring's Views

Walking through the orchard groves
I let my mind, in silence, muse
while spring around in brilliant hues
make fruits brim with sweetened juice.

Birds, with their banter, amuse
and sweet notes, into the air effuse
while all around leaves and yews
and blushing flowers grow profuse.

dusk looms near and soon induce
a reddish tint that soon suffuse
birds give me their rushed adieus
and fly off...leaving me a lone recluse!!

Boring??

Who says life is boring??....just when i was thinking so , life turned back and shouted at me.....four accidents in the course of two days and being a part of the earthquake has led me to believe that life is indeed very happening!!!

the first accident left me unhappy, the second angry, the third afraid, and the fourth...numb....fortunately nothing happened to anyone so the aftermaths were restricted to material losses alone...then the incident of a robber being spotted outside our house at the dead of the night( luckily it wasn't i who saw him...and hence i live to tell this tale) provided enough food for thought and fear for a couple of nights....
and the earth quake...well i am disappointed that i dint know it was an earthquake...i thought it was a train passing close by as the rumbling sound resembled that of a train as it passes alongside our house...and the vibrations are common enough too...it was only later that i knew things weren't so common this time around....
these action packed bursts of happenings are interspersed in life just to show that god is a sport and doesn't let anyone be bored...

The different Faces of rain

We thought that the rains had gone as dark rainy season gave way to the bright spring....but showers continue against our expectations .... tantalizing us in its cool..rain changes face every time, each rain is unique in its strength, its chill and unparallelled beauty....
A drizzle cools the air and cool winds accompanying them make the weather suitable for a slow, unhurried walk through a crowd free path....
Slightly stronger, rain drops fall down big and fat, yet the cumbersome burden of an umbrella is quite unnecessary....this is best for a brisk walk....that gives warmth and clears the head....
Still stronger, the umbrella comes into the picture and a huddled walk follows , taking care not to hit others with the umbrella, weaving a zigzag path through the crowd, with the tempting thought of a hot tea nagging deep inside...
Stronger still, rain comes in a torrential downpour, slanting sheets of water spraying, the best time to recline by an open window, sipping tea, engrossed in an exciting murder mystery by agatha christie...

and then the soothing rains go, leaving everything fresh, brighter and lively!!

Barren

Memoir of the recent IV, sparked by the barren lands on either side of the road all the way to hyderabad....

Barren frames that stretch afar
flanked by crooked mountain crusts
last specks of life,
killed in this sacred altar
no life thrives in this blackened dust.

Stark silence, staring stillness
gusty winds blow, searing hot
all around utter wilderness
and crowded barrenness of the plot.

Stars cluster burning bright
from the sky, momentarily black
on the sprawling expanse, spreading light
casting shadows, long and dark.

Dream analysis

Call me superstitious ,but once I started having weird dreams and some of them recurring too, I got the wind up and started searching for what they really mean....and this is what I discovered.
my dreams predominantly contain water ...in some form, sometimes stagnant, mostly flowing or rushing water, and lots of rocks, forts, underwater etc.

Water :To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind.To hear running water in your dream, denotes meditation, reflection and pondering of your thoughts and emotions.To see a water carrier in your dream, signifies favorable prospects in fortune and love.:-).To see a waterfall in your dream, is symbolic of letting go. You are releasing all those pent up emotions and negative feelings.To dream that you are breathing underwater, represents a retreat back into the womb. You want to return to a state where you were dependent and free from responsibilities.

Rocks:To see rocks in your dream, signifies permanence and stability as expressed in the familiar phrase "as solid as a rock". It may also indicate that you are making a commitment to a relationship.

Fort:To dream that you are confined in a fortress, signifies that enemies will succeed in putting you in an undesirable situation.

Sea:the dream may indicate a need to reassure yourself or offer reassurance to someone.?It brings about hope, a new perspective and a positive outlook on life no matter how difficult your current problems may be. To see a sea horse in your dream, signifies the power of your unconscious. It may also indicate a new perspective or different outlook in life

Black cat: now, I was scared stiff when a black cat launched itself on me in a dream but thankfully they are harmless enough. If you see a black cat in your dream, then it indicates that you are experiencing some fear in using your psychic abilities and believing in your intuition. You may erroneously associate the black cat with evil, destruction, and bad luck.

Poem: Turning Back

note a typical depressive poem of mine because of the fact that the speaker returns to life...prefers life to death


Oh, the dark,lurking depths ,forever inviting
with their soft palms curling, tempting,
A dark veil , a curtain, impassive, opaque
Shrouding the wonderous world of light, evasive.

I saw my pains laid out open, sorrows staring,
reflecting from the dark, ever encircling abyss
and ventured to give them away, entomb them
by trusting my weights to the depths that lay.

I took a drop from the dull , stagnant bulk
and gave it life, blowing into a soft froth
I saw all the hues that took life from my breath
swirling bright, mixing playfully in the bubble light.

I turned back,shuddering, walking away
from where cruel doom, lurking lay
back to where the swirling colours beckoned
back where my life had frozen, embalmed.

And back I went , not turning back to gaze
while the depths lay, forever inviting!!

Evolution

The past one week had seen me giving way to frustration and depression with no reserve, just like a prehistoric mammal. The past few days have been stages, infact leaps, in the process of my evolution. Talks about the tour getting stronger day by day , more number of people getting roped in for the tour on one side; a greater number's seeming uninterest in the tour and the ridiculous reasons proposed on the other side had me on tenterhooks for some days. And then ,I was rewarded. The entire mood had changed over a weekend. Friday saw the realisation of one of my greatest wishes- seeing Kalam in person and hearing his talk.It send every bit of unnecessary emotion out. He was humility personified, simplicity through and through and expressed strong thoughts through carefully chosen out , seemingly simple words.
Saturday came ,and we went on the much awaited IV to Keltron thanks to IEEE. It was more of a tour with 35 students from class turning up. Infact, it was better than a class tour because there were students right from s3 to mtech. After some hours at Keltron, where we learnt about transformers [:-o] we set out to Aruvikkara, which was incidentally quite close by. Although extreme hunger did dampen the spirits and cut short the time spent , it was thoroughly enjoyable....but the day ended on a tragic note with Tonykuttan, our class rep, losing his mobile to the currents; more tragic because two days before he took extreme pains to collect everyones phone numbers and save it. The next day, Sunday, saw us together again- this time for the purpose of attending a friend's house warming. The entire class was invited and with a few exceptions, the entire class did turn out. The house was in Nedumangadu , so a long trip though beautiful frames followed. There was non stop laughter , right from boarding the bus , till getting off the return bus; thanks to the great achievements of Aiswarya. This time, there was more scope for enjoyment for I was not the subject of embarassment (save one incident). The day was flooded with 'first-time experiences'. (1) It was for the first time that I drank the delicious concoction of 'one spoon each of pulishery,rasam, curd served on a glass'
(2).The first time we were questioned by the police as to our reasons for the visit when they saw us standing clustered at the road side.
(3)Hearing typical trivandrum slang after having been here for so many years
(4)For many students from northern Kerala, it was a first time trivandrum sadya and they were intimidated by the number of payasams.
Atlast, the class has turned better, or so it seems to me, and I find myself looking forward for the real IV!....nothing better than a juicy strike to top it up!

GREAT TIMES

Several people have asked me to put down the embarassments i have had in my life....they made the request after they themselves witnessed how often i come across embarassments...and ...one "man's folly is food for anothers mirth" -says pp, so i decided to oblige.
but to put down the multitude of situations would make it an autobiography spreading over volumes , so restricting myself to those few occasions when i turned first red, then yellow, then black and finally green....

scene 1: a fine day in 2005

the school annual day....things were going very well....we had finished a dance without any major mishaps( ignoring the fact that the cassette did not play the first time and we were welcomed by howls and hoots)......the final pose was struck and as the rule goes i waited for the curtain to fall to resume from the pose. i was way upfront, had gone farther than i have intended to .....everyone kept staring at me while i remain stuck in the pose which resembled Christ on the cross but since i cant see without my glasses, i couldnt catch their expression....after a long time of waiting some one asked me from behind "chechi, akathu varunnille".....i realized to my horror that the curtain had fallen behind me and everyone had gone offstage while i was enacting the clown......after turning multiple shades at the same time, i retreated feeling wretched and horrible.....my classmates took up the issue and for days congratulated me on my "out"standing performance as they called it....

scene 2: another fine morning in 2006

the first day in college...

we (my cousin aka unni) and me decided to go by college bus ...we went to the stop and found a guy there who looked like a CET student....unni goes over and makes his first slip of the day "chetta, chettan first year aano"...the senior just laughed and said no but he had a " wait till i get you" expression. we stood together and were chatting about something when the bus showed up.
once aboard the bus i had the privelege of being the first first year girl on bus...i was called up front and questions fired from all sides
1: who was the guy laughing with you?
although unni is my dad's cousins son , to avoid him further discomfiture, i said he's my dad's sisters son...first cousin to be precise
then they called unni ...and while i was there asked him "how are you related?"
unni, in his own way to avoid inconvenience , said " we are distant relatives"
i felt like burying myself then and we were turned out to be the fraud brother and sister......

footnote: even today people really wonder if we ARE brother and sister thanks to his over, melodramatic way of calling me "sister" before starting every sentence.

Favourites

the best songs ever , in my opinion.

oldie goldies:
1. chakravarthini
2. kasthuri manakkunnallo
3. kalpantha kalatholam

middle melodies:
1. vathil pazhuthilode
2. arikil nee undayirunnenkil
3. etho varmukilin
4. vaalkkannezhuthiya

latest loves:
1. oru naru pushpamayi
2. oru chempaneer
3. shyamavaniletho

other languages:
1.pachai nirame
2. chinna chinna asai
3. ek ladki ko

updates

since i had formed the habit of tarnishing the image of many an ECE teacher in my previous post , i think it my moral obligation to put down the SLIGHT change for the better that has materialised of recent times.
1. the subjects are now better....either because my mind has come into terms with the forced aquaintance with them or they just get better after a few initial boring hours
2. some free hours have cropped up which makes life bearable
3. fortunately or unfortunately there are only two days lab per week
4. all the fans in the class have resumed operation thanks to quick undertakings by our new rep.
5.ambily mam has found renewed confidence in herself...now the lectures are delivered unstutteringly. we have struck a chord with her... as long as we keep within the limits she doesnt require us to pay attention in class....so classes are 10 percent problem solving and 90 percent talking...a classmate recently demonstrated that she wouldnt know even if you go out through the front door.
6. sumam mam- same, unerring, ..... she brings about a sense of de ja vu with her.... everything right from s3 comes back in a blur...the same words uttered in the present context relate to something quite different from the past.
7. ebin sir- the proud ringmaster of the only good show in the circus.
8. neetha mam- same again, quiet, smiling with occasional biting comments. but the only person to whom i ask doubts with the hope that they get cleared.
9. suresh k- although his classes are still a bore and resemble a single actor art film, (with very few audience coz of the fact that he disclosed he wouldnt be taking attendance till next week which took a larger part of the populace out of the classroom walls), it feels good to be taught by someone who knows what he is saying.
10. though i dint land the electives i wanted my choice struck gold. i ve got electives that are always free.
11. friends , from their recent blog activity, have found ways of reducing anger and stress and from their irritable mood has gone to a state of frivolity. this has led to me being in splits of laughter most of the time.

so, in general, when life becomes unbearable, you blog, god reads ur blog and answers ur prayers and makes life a tinge better!

the ends (post number 50)

end 1:

she woke up the next morning, fairly refreshed and happy. while getting out of bed, she noticed that she had something clutched in her hand. looking down at it all the sense of foreboding returned. it was a piece of fabric, from a robe that sparkled like the sun, that someone had torn out ........

end 2:

she woke up feeling fairly refreshed and happy. she called Derek and atlast got him. He sounded relieved when he heard her voice. she didnt make any complaints regarding the neglect with which he had treated her for the past few days, she was just happy at having him back...infact having her life back the way it was before the dream came. they planned to meet at the beach in the evening.
that day she worked with a pleasurable excitement and kept glancing at the time, urging it to go fast. atlast evening came and she rushed off to the beach..
she shuddered slightly at the sight of the waves but then she caught sight of him and everything came back.
she stood looking at the sea, wondering about the stories it could reveal but chose not to... he had asked her to marry him and she had said yes.....as she stood nestled in these happy thoughts something struck her feet. she looked down and all the sense of foreboding returned. it was a small golden key....maybe the waves had brought it back.....she bent, picked it up and threw it to the sea with all her might.....silently urging the waves not to return it atleast this time.......
as she turned to go she saw someone striding towards her. he asked in an apologetic tone" have you seen a key somewhere along this part of the shore? i had lost it here ..."..................
without batting an eyelash she replied" no i dint, but i wasnt paying attention ... was it something important?" ...." yes.... very.." he said with a disheartened look ......" the waves must have taken it..." she said and went away thinking to herself" so much for dreams".

chapter 4

the next day she spent a long time searching for any details about the fort. she tried google to get pictures of forts but too many results showed up, none matching her fort.as the night drew near, she knew nothing more about her dream and for once she feverishly wished that the same dream should follow and make some things clear; maybe because she saw Derek in it , but she believed, quite superstitiously as she herself knew, that this dream had an impact on her life.

night came and she slept fitfully. at around midnight she stirred. the dream had begun. this time she was at the central pool, the dark stagnant abyss with the golden key somehow contrived to float in its midst. she wanted to get at the key but she couldnt risk stepping into the water as she knew that years of trickling water had taken the pool to formidable depths. a thread hung at the end of the pool , with its other end bound to the key. she pulled at it and noted happily that the key came along . just as she took the key in her hand, a grip as strong as steel took over her hand. she turned to see the priest, or Derek, with his covered eyes..giving a creepy feeling that he saw things beyond normal range. as she made futile attempts to let go from the iron grip , her mind was going over various ways of escape. as if she had known all along , the answer showed itself. light was her way of escape. the darkened room, the mirrors reflecting light, the stricken panicky retreat that the crowd beat on seeing the bright spark.....it all pointed to one thing. they were afraid of light. they couldnt bear to face light directly. she conjured up a fire somehow, maybe her will to escape gave her the power, but it worked. as the priest writhed in agony at the sudden exposure to light, she wrenched herself free and ran to safety. the water running over the high walls surrounding the pool had stopped flowing .... that indicated that the tide was low ....the safe shore was in her reach. she scrambled out of the exit and with what remained of her might, she closed the door to the fort with all its wickedness intact and ran to the shore. she threw the key to the waves and asked them to take it into the depths and never to bring it back. she jumped awake and remained seated on her bed for sometime. somehow she knew the dream wouldnt recur, with the fort she had closed from her world all the stories its interiors held. she feelt a calm wave of relief wash over her and noticed how strung she had been for days. she slept soundly , making a note to meet Derek the next day.

chapter 3:The story resumes

note: till now the story was based on real events. henceforth every word is pure fiction.

the recurring dreams seemed to her to be a premonition of danger. every morning found her scared out of wits as more pictures unravelled in her dreams. she tried Derek's number but got his answering machine. the apprehension that he was giving her a cold shoulder strengthened. for two days she had been directed to his answering machine and when she called at his office he was supposedly engaged in a conference and had not cared to call back in answer to her multiple messages . well, the bad luck had begun. Derek would soon be out of the picture and she would be alone yet again. she was surprised at the extent of her affections for him which she had never before cared to express. the sensible in her soon took control and she forgot all about her dream . the day was just the same , the only difference being that Derek did not meet her for coffee as planned. How like men to forget appointments and not even care to send an explanatory note.
as night approached , she found herself getting scared. she was afraid to go to sleep , lest the dream should come again. she resolved to spend the night watching tv but the futility of it all soon descended on her. how long would she go sleepless, in fear of some dream. she switched off the tv and went to bed.
somewhere in the deep sleep, she stirred. she was dreaming again. she was at the room with the sculpted God. but this time she wasnt alone. the room was filled with people dressed in odd, flowing robes of black. as she walked down the central aisle , everyone moved apart on either side of her to let her pass.. she was stared at in awe and there was a certain amount of reverence in their gazes. someone stuck out a hand and tore a piece of fabric from her robe. she looked down to find that she wasnt wearing the odd robe. she was dressed in a golden robe that sparkled like the sun. she reached the platform that lay directly in front of the God. there stood a man who obviously adorned a greater position compared to the folk who thronged the room below. at once, something odd about the room struck her. here , there were no lights. but still it had the look of being dimly lit. she looked around for the source of light and found two large mirrors which reflected the moonlight that fell from a hole in what should be the ceiling of the room. she was escorted to a low table in front of the god and the priest turned. she gasped as she realised that the priest's face bore a curious resemblance to Derek. she was laid down on the table. the priest came close and looked at her. he had his eyes covered with a thin black veil...she wondered if he could see her. he mumbled something in a language she did not know. but her intuition told her that it was a prayer uttered in such force that she knew it was a final prayer. even before she knew a brilliant sparkle illuminated the room. the men scurried to the shadowy corners , their eyes covered with their hands in the dazzle. she got up and ran away from the room , away from the carved, silver hilted sword that would soon have worked its way into her insides........stumbling along the dark corridors she moved to a source of light that seemed to be growing larger. she soon found out the exit....the hole that would lead her out of the fort. looking from the exit, in the moonlight, she spotted shore not very far away. as she waited, the tide withdrew, exposing a cobbled pathway that led to the shore. she ran as fast as her soggy costume would allow her.
she woke up drenched in sweat and found that she was clutching a piece of fabric in her hand, a piece which she had torn from her dress just like someone had done in her dream.

The soothing tones of Sreeragam

music has always had the quality to soothen ruffled nerves. the different ragas blend together melodiously to create an atmosphere of leisure, calm and happiness. my favourite is the sreeragam. supposed to be the raaga in which the rain falls, this ragam has a special feel associated with it... the same feel associated with falling rain. going beyond the realms of classical music, i quite recently realised that most film songs i liked were composed in this raaga.
some compositions in this raaga: 1. entharo mahanubhavulu
2. etho varmukilin
3. neelaravil innu
4.ravin nila
5. oru chempaneer
6.pooncholai kiliye
7. karuna cheyvaan

The boring Seven

atlast the seventh semester is here....time does move fast. the start gave a lot to be desired. the move from the spacious, airy s5 s6 class with two doors( placed at strategic locations) to the stuffy, dark s7 s8 class was truly disheartening. this led to a considerable decline in the time we spent inside the class. we got a taste of the placement drama when thoughtworks came to campus and left without recruiting anyone. and the subjects......better left unsaid. none of them seem to be interesting and the two electives i wanted to take were cancelled( as luck would have it) due to lack of interested takers. the teachers...well a lot to be said in this regard. we have a set of new teachers this sem and except for sumam mam we dint know how the others fared. but the bubble burst soon enough. the first class found us fairly expectant ... the teacher was ambily mam. my previous acquaintance with her wasnt very encouraging. she accompanied us to 'starwars' and left us at the railway station and went home leaving us to fend for ourselves. she seemed like a frightened rabbit in a lions cage as she came to our class and taught(theoretically) a lot of unimportant stuff. neetha mam was quiet and smiling but her opening sentence was 'those who arent interested can leave the class' which disquietened the prevalent high spirits. sumam mam was her usual smiling self with her usual entrance and exit lines delivered to perfection. she told about VLSI exactly what she told about SSD and AC. the exit line was a gratifying' u r the best s7 class ever' which was delivered a bit unconvincingly.

and then the much awaited class arrived. the one of Suresh .k. he was supposedly an intellectual being with a thourough knowledge of the subject acquired through vast reading and research. we were given to believe that his class was ' the ultimate'. and when it did happen it was 'the ultimate koora'. for one thing he looked everywhere except at the class. so while he taught the tree outside the window , the door , the ceiling and the floor, we were left to follow our own pursuit of happiness. sadly it was a double hour.the first half hour i heard every word in the hope that the class would soon 'evolve'. half an hour hence, when things did not seem to be taking a turn for the better, i gave up and lost myself. after several transmission losses and returns and what seemed like an eternity of teaching i looked at the watch to find that only five minutes were past. then we engaged in the game of looking at each others faces and laughing at our own predicament. sir was droning on about probability. if david sir had killed probability for us , this man took it out of its grave and stabbed it multiple times. i watched sadly as yet another subject went down the drain in two hours time. but he left quite an impression on us. we all liked the person, approved of his wide knowledge but believed teaching wasnt quite his profession.the ritual of forming a project team followed and after multiple takes, one got fixed. then came the hunt for a seminar topic and a project guide. classes were boring and happened regularly while the applied batch NEVER had any class. my friends were getting irritable, twitchy and nervy of recent times .the same feelings would have come over me but i found refuge in food and sleep. while things arent going very well on the college side, everything was getting better in the family side and after many years , i like sitting at home better than going to college .

the end

story ends abruptly due to lack of imagination!

chapter 2: Haunting

She woke up with a start. it was the same dream again. the same place.... the tall inaccessible fort with the sea surrounding it lashing onto the shore in all its fury...the sense of foreboding that hung about the place, the odd carved faces that inhabited the stone walls speaking of a bygone era.....she broke into a sweat..... recurring dreams were bad. though she wasnt superstitious , there was something she did not like about this recurrence. This was the third time the same place had shown itself in her dream. and as she had done the twice previously, she tried to imagine every possible place where she would have seen this fort .....surely it should have got absorbed into her subconscious from somewhere... as before she drew a blank.

the first time she saw it, it was a temple. she was walking through the one of the myriad paths that branched off the main vein and came across a room from whence issued the sound of gushing water.she followed the sound and turned a corner ... and found herself one step away from a deep pool... the stagnant waters lay enticing, licking at her feet ...waiting to embalm her into its folds......the shock had woken her up then.
the next time, though , she got further. she went straight to the room and this time , as she rounded the corner , she was aware of a tny flickering light beyond the shadows ... the light disappeared as she turned the corner and before her eyes she saw a large piece of rock carved in the shape of some primitive god. She did not know what god it was and to which religion it belonged but somehow , she knew it was God and needed to be viewed with deference. there was a huge waterfall that send water spraying into all directions , forming a thick veil, a curtain of water in front of the sculpted piece of stone. she had awaken then .

chapter 1: A Dream

The fort stood tall and imposing , yet tucked away from view of many a prying eye......it lay solid and strong, a huge chunk carved out of the mountain, the world around ignorant of its magnetic presence , all except the sea whose waves crashed in onto its alluring depths , blocking the stony path that leads into its mysterious interiors.
it had been there for ages, the master work of the searing waves, polished to perfection by years of moving water, chiselling out large crevices , moulding the giant pillars and forming a maze beneath the towering columns. The walls were tall and hid the dim interiors from view, but the water rose above them and spilt over into the inner sanctum of the fort , which held the water in a deep, stagnant abyss...there was an eerie silence around with the fall of the gushing water richochetting off the massive stone walls.....
the only path that gained entrance to the fort was long buried by the waves...yet when the tide was low, the waters parted , as if torn apart by an invisible hand... and the stony path emerges into view...

Destiny

Is it my fate that the crystal holds?
or is what it holds my fate?

I look at the sun,breathing out fire,
so stern in its life, biding its time
and say ' it is destined'.

Then I look at the birds, free in their paths
not bound to the earth, flying in will,
and say 'it is we who destine'.

When things go wrong, luck deserts
I curse God for steering me so
when success shines, luck stays by
I praise myself for my deeds

Do we live out a life,crafted before
by some hand, mighty and strong.
or do we live out our life, do our deeds
and the hands of time take it down so.

Top Ten

The ten best books i have read so far. care has been taken to select books from all genres.
the numbering depicts just the order of remembrance and not priority.

1) Pride and Prejudice by jane austen-a good love story
2) The house of the seven gables by nathaniel hawthorne- a captivating story said in strong words
3) The Alchemist by paulo coelho- inspirational
4) To kill a mocking bird by harper lee- light hearted
5)Wuthering heights by emily bronte( or charlotte ..dont remember which)- strong characters set in a slightly bitter atmosphere
6)The da vinci code by dan brown- fact Vs fiction
7)The murder on the orient express by agatha christie- good mystery where the end is beyond guess
8) The scarlet Pimpernal by baroness orczy- a love story set in aristocratic circles with a touch of dare in it
9) The taming of the shrew by william shakespeare(only the non detailed)- comedy
10) Harry potter and the order of the phoenix- no description needed

The Human Junkyard

Things seem a long time back....maybe thats because time isnt as fast as it used to be then.....I could never think of spending so much time in contemplation back then...when my time was so valuable to me that i named a price for anyone who wanted a share of it....there were a lot of takers too...Today I saw her walking with someone else ....by the treelined avenue that she very much loved but where i never cared to share a walk with her...I am too wise to be jealous now so i admit he looked far more handsome and younger than me...she looked blooming too and the pink in her cheeks showed that she was happy....atlast!!not that i am depressed...she herself told me once that if i left her she would find a better guy in two months.....she wasnt the sensitive sort....i loved her the more for this practical way of thought,she never cared too much for anything.....but there were times when i wished she cared a bit more for me!! it was five years before,during one of the rare occasions when i did walk with her,that we crossed this place ...i didnt know what it was then....i threw the empty popcorn box into the seemingle abandoned space...she asked me if i knew what place lay beyond the rusty gates....it was a graveyard......being at the peak of arrogance then i replied in my characteristic way that there wasnt a better place to throw waste in because this was a human junkyard......just a patch of fertile soil where generations have blended into the dirt. she said with a slight shudder " you should atleast respect the dead... they will turn in their graves if they hear you calling them junk". i laughed that characteristic laugh of mine, nothing less of a snort, and said " anything in this world, once it loses its life, has lost its utility and can be called junk".... she left it at that..... it was this arrogance that took me to where i am now.... i did not heed the doctor's warning... i would never admit i was ill ...and when he adviced caution and care, to take things in a slow pace, i grew more frantic, put in more effort....i thought i could win over death, like i had stomped through the other competitors in my life...but death new its job well and soon absorbed me into its abyss.....today as i lay in my grave, she was passing through the gates, rusty gates as always, the thin wall of separation between the living and the dead,when i heard her say to her companion with a loud laugh " know what, the other guy i told you about used to call this a human junkyard...never had a care for other lives around him... and now that he rests in one of its deep pits it has become a junkyard"..... the guy joined her in her laugh and put his arm over her shoulder as they walked past the gates.......and i turned in my grave!

today

today was a very fine day
when everything went my way!!

One

In all the hurry i forgot, my baby blog turned one this june 9th!!

non sense

Staring at the computer screen for hours can afflict intense strain on your eyes ...even the fact that there is an exam tomorrow and this drastic measure is required is not justifiable when it boils down to one's eyes. still more than five hours of staring can take its toll on one and one should diversify one's resources elsewhere.that is where the concept of having a blog seems an excellent option.

Solitary Confinement

inspired by a story titled 'the bet' learnt at school.


I was sentenced for solitary confinement because I did not accept the new King. They said that i had committed a grave offence but my idea of crime was far different from theirs. For me , crime was declaring oneself as king of a people and coercing their obedience, snatching their money and spending it on luxury while the true owners live in squalor, denying education which is a beggar's only asset, pushing basic necessities of life far above the common grasp by demanding celestial prices and every other unjustifiable deed that the new King has took upon himself to enforce and I said as much. The last chance of mercy was thus dispelled and the king had no qualms in ordering me for ten years in solitary confinement.He ordered that this was a better punishment to severing my head at the guillotine because ten years with only my shadow and breath to bear me company would leave me deranged for life... a fitting end to one who was insane enough to oppose the king.
And thus began my life in prison. I was soon engulfed by the four massive stone walls .at nights i had nightmares that the walls were closing in on me crushing me beneath their unscrupulous solidity. during day time i spent hours reminiscing my past life , reliving them in full spirit , burning them into memory so that they would never leave me....I was alone here so I cried my heart out, my eyes dry. Food was brought at regular intervals. I tried to keep track of time by noting when the food arrived but the futility of the exercise soon dawned on me and i lost myself to the deep gorges of time. Solitude crept into me from all sides.....
"fatigued and famished, I lie, a mere slave
with bonds of time piercing my bones
memories i try to clutch in vain
desert me and move into the shadows
left here to live, abandoned and alone
to let the past prey on my soul
and let the future dwell in my thoughts
my mind explores ways as yet unknown
where i meet fears as yet unfathomed
wheels of time turn crushing my dreams
but hope lives for ever in my mind and soul"

it was one fine morning when i was running these morose thoughts over in my mind that i realized i was not alone. The sights and sounds of nature, alive and noisy caught my attention...several birds were engaged in a spirited conversation outside the prison walls...days, may be years of solitude have sharpened my hearing skills. The paradox of the situation gave me a thrill. here i was, condemned to solitude, but i was anything but alone. Sight was beyond reach but still i can percieve the falling rain, swishing wind and the birds flying to and fro shouting out greetings to their kin. the rain drops that still clung idly to the air wafted in through the bars at the top of my cell...invisible but betraying their presence when they occasionally came in contact...like a baby's kiss...soft , sweet and warm. the wind was my constant companion bringng me news of the outside world....it brought the fragrance of flowers in spring, the smell of wet earth in rain, and sounds of everyday life uttered far away during nights. Maybe my fancy but i can hear the rumbling sea at night, the waves tirelessly licking at the shore....my monotony was nothing compared to the sea's and still it continued its destiny without complaint. another companion was the guard who used to bring me food. he pushes the tray through the small opening under the door and took it back the same way. but i could hear his footsteps and making guesses about his height, build and what he looked like gave me immense satisfaction. i imagined his life, his wife and kids. how happy they would be when they hear his footfall in the dark alley that leads to their home.

one day, the door, that impenetrable piece of metal that had kept back the world , opened. I said a silent farewell to the generations of birds who have passed by my cell, to the faithful wind, to everything that only this stay had made me appreciate and walked out into the open. i revelled in the suns rays as it blanketed me in its warmth just as a mother would wrap her baby , and hungrily took in the beautiful sights around. I wanted to scream out that i was still sane that the punishment was nothing to me but kept silent because ten years had made me wise and i knew better than to argue with fools.

poem: Alone

disclaimer: 'I' referred to in the poem is not me.

Even when the world around
carry on their noisy chatter
I feel alone in the crowd that surround
my mind shuts out, my senses scatter.

while I speak well and always smile
to the faces I pass, all day I glance
my mind feels void all the while
amidst its purposeful happy stance.

To live in a world where I am loved
where happiness broods ,comforts choke
but no more free to speak out aloud
my mind is hidden beneath its locks

I am a stranger to my own thoughts
I dare not think for fear of sorrow
while around me , my life clots
where every day is like the morrow.

story:Waiting....

it was tuesday. he had told that he would be back on tuesday when she gave him a tearful farewell last week. had he told a lie to comfort her, to spare her the sorrow so that he could say goodbye while she smiled?...... no...she mustnt let these thoughts take hold of her...he was true to his word. even her father thinks so...so if he says he'll be back he WILL be back. she was leaning onto the window panes , her face pressed onto the glass , craning her neck to catch the first view of his smiling countenance when he came down the street , singing to himself.....and she would give him her best smile...he had always said that she had a beautiful smile.....her mother kept calling to her from the inner recesses of her home..but she was determined that she wouldnt budge till she caught sight of him....she stayed there reminiscing the sweet moments he had presented her with. it was sad that her father did not encourage her meeting him....he liked him but was wary about her meeting him on a regular basis...but thats how all fathers are made ,arent they?.....she heard a distant sound...the sound of a shuffle her ears were straining to hear...was it really him or was it her mind playing tricks on her.......her mother called yet again.... " i am coming..he is here"......he came straight to her house ,not noticing the waves and hails of her neighbours.....she knew she always came first and she liked it that way......her father came out...he gave a sigh...the candy man has come yet again....he liked him but did not like his child getting addicted on candy...nowadays she refuses to go to school every tuesday unless she gets her ration of candy......grudgingly he bought her her favourite brand of candy....when the vendor was about to go she, nibbling on her precious peice of candy but with tears peeking from her baby blue eyes, asked,"when will you come again?"....he smiled and said"next tuesday" .........and he left....she stared after him and came inside...her mind hardened for a wait till next tuesday.....

Book Review: The Final Theory

This book is an entertaining read for physics enthusiasts;still, the book is in such simple a language that even those who are not too deep into physics can appreciate it. It revolves around astrophysics but the terms used are elaborated for the sake of non physicists so that at no point the reader is at a loss . The story in a nutshell: Einstein ,during his last days was bent on finding a unified theory which would explain all electromagnetic and gravitational phenomena. But his followers believed that he passed away without getting hold of the theroy. the story begins when the protagonist gets a call from a detective asking him to go to a city hospital where his teacher at princeton (with whom he had published a paper on two dimensional representation of the universe) is admitted with fatal injuries. The teacher tells him that Einstein did get hold of the unified theory but was apprehensive of the consequences that would pursue if his theory was used for non- peaceful purposes. Therefore he did not publish his theory.But he did not destroy the theory as it was too beautiful. Instead he gave it to three of his students to safeguard. two of them were already murdered and the third one is in the hospital bed about to die. he trusts the hero with a password which is a set of numbers and asks him to save it from an unscrupulous gang that is after the theory. there begins the story. the hero sets out to find the theory but the police are after him because he is the only link they have in the murder and the gang is after him because they know his teacher had transferred the secret to him. but he himself has no idea what to do with the set of numbers he had. what follows is an enthralling story of adventure , horror and suspense with the scientific terms so dexterously interspersed with the story element that it never gives the impression of a physics journal. Infact astrophysics sets the stage for a suspense thriller, but the reader can appreciate both the science as well as the stroy with equal vigour.The story ends along the usual lines with the good winning over the bad forces still a lot of surprises are in store towards the end of the story.

Where to next??

Stepping into the threshold of my final year in college I wonder 'where to next'.... so many words seem to appear all at once but none are clear enough......CAT? GATE? GRE? and thanks to recession the fourth possibility of a JOB has shifted out of focus.....wherever it is ...it is going to be away from home and after all these years (20 lovable years) it seems real sad to go away and be away....having always been the much pampered baby at home ,having never had to live in a hostel , it is going to be very tough......so the only hope that remains is that wherever it is it will be a very good place and i get atleast one good friend so that the grief of separation is lessened .....
having had completed my education in three to four schools i have learned to be in all sorts of groups and i have loved each institution much better that the previous one ....but i have never been grief stricken at having to leave any even though it meant not seeing one's friends for a long time.....but college ......i have got attached to it more than any other ..and trivandrum is not a bad place after all .....looking back, college was fun the first year ,hell the first half of second year when i really planned going away, boring the later half of the second year, again superb the first half of third year and inseparable the latter half of third year.......more than the people it is the atmosphere there that i love , and whatever institution receives me next should have such an atmosphere ......atleast half as nice.......now is a time when you are supposed to decide where to head to next but your head is so clogged that you put it off until there is no time left ....... a lot of tests to attend and ofcourse some to prepare for and in the midst of all this have some quality fun because this may be the last best year you ve got .......so here again is a big bag of small worries ........ and all in the midst of a university exam that hasnt hit the right chord yet!

Poem: Weightless

I stared in fear at the dark gloom
the calm waters with their turbulent depths
and saw,staring back, a loser's face
beckoning from the menacing black

I take a plunge into the icy cold
and could feel thorns on my flesh
but i go deep, down and down
weighted by my guilt

I reach the bottom, the end, and
laying down my weights i move up
now my sorrows lie buried in the secretive depths
while i float high above
on the peripheral calm, weightless, free!

Favourites

My favourite lines of poetry.....


i dont know what this is called or who wrote it....it is about someone who was exiled to a remote island and his frustrations at the isolation and abandonment all around him...

I am monarch of all i survey
my right there is none to dispute
from the centre ,all around the sea
i am the king of the foul and the brute

and now comes the best lines
"oh solitude! where are the charms
that the sages had seen in thy face
better dwell in the midst of alarms
than reign in this horrible place"

given the context of the poem these lines are quite fitting and true.

some lines from the light of other days by thomas moore

context: someone who had turned old lamenting at the loss of his cheerful boyhood years and "the eyes that shone now dimmed and gone"...ie.the friends he had lost

when i remember all
my friends so linked together
i ve seen around me fall
like leaves in wintry weather

i feel like one who tread alone
some banquet hall deserted
whose lights have fled
whose garlands dead
and none but he departed.....

touching in the context of having to leave your friends.

now something simple yet good

i guess this is by wordworth

"'tis my faith that every flower
enjoys the air it breathes"

shows the beauty of life

and now a malayalam poem....
this poem seems like a narration by a woman who is about to marry but reading deeper we see that it infact speaks about a persons appointment with death......

ente veli by g.shankarakurup

"kaalamen shirasinkal aniyikkyayaai mulla maala
bhaalathil chaarthi kazhinju varakkuri"
although it seems like a bride getting ready infact it means that time has adorned my hair with white flowers(meaning greying of hair at oldage) and has brought in wrinkles in my forehead.

most of these i came across at school but it is now that i appreciate their beauty more.

The TRANSPORTATION Problem

A day in the life of a CETian

may 12 2009,

rise and shine ....my day begins..... the day goes wonderfully well until i plan to go to college...since it is study leave time the college buses plying my route are cancelled so i should 1.opt for public transport or 2.decide not to go to college....since i cant rest without prowling around the college today i chosse,though grudgingly , option 1. i set out with a heavy heart towards the bus stop....since i have lately turned into an optimist, i beleive that a decent kulathoor bus( decent in the sense it doesnt have limbs and heads of people sticking out of every possible opening).....

At the bus stop....
for the first half an hour i do not pay any attention to other buses as i am sure that my bus would come......15 minutes later i doubt my beleif and decide i would get into a kulathoor bus even if it is crowded....still 15 minutes later even the crowded bus seems a distant hope and leaving my optimism at my feet i decide to board the next bus....
the next bus is ,incidentally, a very crowded one but to keep my word i get on and brace myself for the ride....after a short distance but a very long ride we reach ulloor and i get down ...phase 1 of my journey successfully completed...
ulloor is a place which receives 50 percent of the suns rays on a global scale and having fortunately worn black i selfishly absorb all of it ....after another 15 minutes i am half cooked and turn golden brown ;and still no sign of the kulathoor bus i get on board an attingal bus....again the entire world seems to be headed for my destination...i wedge myself into what looks like a void....either due to my height or due to my passive wooden expression, people usually mistake me for a rod and by the time the bus reaches chavadimukku i have several women clinging on to me for dear life....i detach myself from them and squeeze out .....after safely landing on solid earth i turn back and wonder ..where was the space i came from?...the bus resumes its journey like a container containing a large compressible fluid.... phase 2 successfully completed!

now the walk begins...
since i detest carrying an umbrella the sun again bears me faithful company and after 5 minutes of walking a fully cooked me mount the college stairs and head to the class...

and then to hours of soldering a mini project that eventually did not work......skipped lunch didnt get time to have tea and then fortunately got a bus that took me home ....
good day
good day...

Being Blank

The state of blankdom is the state i occupy the most these days.... i can spent hours staring at a single object and to outsiders it may occur that i am either dreaming or thinking something serious or am desp but all i am doing is being blank......it has been good so long but now things are getting slightly out of control......exams are approaching and no sooner than i open my book blankdom settles in.....my father said that being able to be blank is a great asset...only two kinds of people could do that ....1.extremely intelligent ones....just as i was about to fly sky high he added 2. extremely stupid ones like you.....
this state has become my constant companion....it is my way of entertainment during class hours.....i ll be staring at the teachers face with periodic rhythmic motions of the head to indicate that i am grasping everything while my thoughts will be tuned to some other frequency..... it has also become my best defense option...when someone tells me something i dont want to hear i turn off, when i am angry i turn off...things got to such an extent that for a few days i was turned off completely....giving slow replies,staring at familiar faces as if i dont recognise and not acknowledging the presence of people in the same room as me....my cousins attribute it to insanity but i think i am still on the right side of sanity......

Worries

I have been deeply worried for the past few days.....the mini project submission is due on wenesday and we are still on square one.....and the guy we trusted our pcb fabrication with has succeeded in nothing save teaching me some facts:
1. i hate cheats
2. i am not fit to run a business
3. being polite is not always good....
4. i am very silly...i get worried over anything and everything

after running aournd for over a week we are still where we started.....and my spirits are at an all time low.....yes i have only this small worry in this world (gud enuf)....but it is getting to my nerves....

the guy at zoom (whom we now call fraud) doesnt believe our circuit will work...but he took a week to realise that....and one day from submission he tells us confidently that it aint gonna work.....
:-(

rhyme: The Ideal Guy

yet another attempt at an unsadistic poem.

his eyes as dark as his dark brown hair
with a voice so sweet and a face so fair

with a guarded poise and his head held high
with a catch in his voice and a twinkle in his eye

who is well read, a man of the world
wise as his years and true to his word

ever so pleasant ,ready with a smile
with looks unique, has his own style

who can talk easy,with a tinge of fun
thats the guy i wish to have won.

RHYME: Glimpses

In memory of a train journey.

Fleeting glimpses of greenish hue,
in the misty cold of the morning haze.

thousand suns sparkle from deadened dew,
wherever my eyes could gaze.

lush green lands spring up new,
as we move in a dream like maze.

in search of prey the first birds flew,
in the sky set afire by the morning blaze.

rustling the leaves ,the cool breeze blew,
while in pastures cows happily graze.

sheets of water in sparkling blue,
lay in calm and true solace.

neither the gusty winds nor the noisy few,
nor the slight drizzle could me unfaze.

to each glimpse i bid adieu,
as the landscape and me are parting ways!

Epilogue

Once you leave the third world your space further expands and you enter the fifth dimension ...the dimension of thought...here you are not only confined in the axes of space and time but also on thought....as you move into further worlds your space expands further and further until you get absorbed into the energy that makes up the universe.

chapte 5:

now things were getting slightly clear......
so i was in this new world where i live till the next guy turns up ... so i am not dead but i am just on a journey......a journey through worlds ...a journey through time ...
but muck as i like not being dead i would have liked the old notion better.to lie in my grave and see myself becoming part of the dirt....being eternally etched into the world..i wuld like to have roamed around the world as a spirit...so that i could atleast be the winds that brush past the face osf my loved ones...

so, i have cleared whatever wrong notions i have previously given...this is death .whether you like it or not....and i got to be going...i have a whole life to live out .....

chapter 4:

" ok. so what happens to me now....and where is God?'
he actually laughed out at my final question

"just another wrong concept of yours...what you call god in your world is just the you in the higher world...in that sense i am your god"
"to go on....you can stay in this world until the guy from your older world dies and turns up here. you take my space.. i am going"
"where"
" i dont know .just like you didnt know where you were going after you died i dont know where my next space lies....."
where exactly is this world?why hasnt it shown in our space searches..or is it that far out in the universe?'
"much farther than you can think!"
" if i travel at the speed of light....even then i cant reach it...( i couldnt help showing off my prowess in science.this guy knew a little too much!)'

"the speed of light is too slow....you have to travel at the speed of thought to get there....you see this world is in the same place as yours ...but in another time sphere....so infact it is close by in temrs of space but far apart in terms of time!"

chapter 3:

He had an air of assurance and calmness about him that immediately put me on the edge.....I somehow had the feeling that he knew more about me than i possibly knew..and i found it very uncomfortable. He asked " i gather you have some questions to ask me !"

"well yes " i stammered (how did he know?)
"go on"
" well where is this place and what am i and what are you...and now that i am dead what is going to happen to me....?
" well this is an intermediate world of sorts where people like you and i confer on what our next move is....let me give you a standard explanation....first of all i am sorry to say this but whatever you have been writing in your books is a bunch of lies....( i knew this guy was my nemesis...)....well once you die you dont roam around with nothing to do...haunting mansions and the like...instead you move on to the higher world...."
"hold it.....what higher world?"
"well, there are three worlds ...to be precise three worlds that i know of....your life is a journey of your soul through these worlds....once you die in one world you take birth in the next world....you have currently come from the second world....just like you have me in this world there is another you in the third world ....as soon as you died , he took birth in your older world."

chapter 2:

I am here to do what i couldnt do when i was alive.....answer a few questions on death.....during the course of my narrative you are bound to be overcome with scepticism...but my only assurance is this...you will find it to be true once you die...

After days of pain in the hospital bed , constantly hearing the nurses confer in hushed tones and conclude that they'll lose me....I felt a sudden weightlessness....it just felt like someone had connected a vacuum cleaner to my body and was sucking out whatever was in it at a very high speed......as my vision dimmed i felt like i was travelling through an endless tunnel like a gusty breeze....and there was a blinding light at the end of it ...and i somehow seemed to know that it was there that my destination lay...I was moving up but not exactly moving in the sense that i was so fast that things around me remained stationary....and then the bright hole suddenly popped up on me ...."so this was it ", i thought, " i am going to heaven (naturally i was convinced that the bright light was heaven)...i will see God soon.".....i was sucked out of the hole and emerged into brightness to see me staring at...not God definitely....I stared in stupefaction at myself .....infact i was smiling at me and calmly nodding my head as if asking me to come to me....wait this is confusing ....i ll call the 'me' in heaven 'him'...he was smiling at me and asking me to go to him

story: I am not dead

July 13th, 2009

The famous scientist and writer Mr.Stuart passed away in the morning following a sudden attack....his last words were ...."I have been chasing death in vain all these years , in the hope that I might answer the biggest riddle on earth...now the moment of enlightenment is near...the answer has come to me!".....Mr.Stuart has published various books on the soul after death and was one of the strongest supporters of the theory of life after death.......


You have just read what newspapers published on the eve of my demise...now i'll carry on the story from here....

I'm off again

Maybe due to the proximity or due to the peaceful stay it affords, kanyakumari has become a retreat of sorts for my family. everytime we get three days we drive off to kanyakumari and sink in the serenity of the place.The vivekananda ashram is the best place to stay if you are looking for a quiet holiday. Covering hundreds of acres,it houses numerous tree lined walks , and if you are lucky you might chance on a peacock that has decided to show off its beautiful feathers. The last time we were there we took a superficial view of the area making sure that the next time we go there we know where to head to...... the sunrise at kanyakumari is famous but lucky as i am i coudnt glimpse it. the last time, i woke up early for the express purpose of catching the sun first and walked all the way to the sea side.....there was a slight drizzle and a breeze playing along and the place was very beautiful in the early morning glow.....the blue hue of dawn along with the overcast sky and the tune of the sea playing in my ears gave a dream like experience.......the sun decided not to turn up that day and left a dejected lot at the shore staring haplessly at the skies....silly as it seems the sun didnt rise that day...it just appeared at some place above the horizon.....but i wasnt let down ...i really loved the early morning walk and the dream like quality of the entire image etched an everlasting impression on me.....that evening we went to kanyakumari and again the thunderous clouds and grey sky showcased the sea in all its fury.....that night we had the annual day celebrations of the vivekananda school....all were invited...since there wasnt anything constructive to do my mother sis and i went ......the kids were really good and the simplicity of the programmes struck me.....there was a set of unsophisticated programmes...simple songs ,dances......but the brightly dressed kids doing them made it all the more beautiful.....there were instances when we stared dumbfounded at the stage while a tamil skit progressed......i tried translating the tamil for the first few minutes but it got faster by the minute so i gave up and just stared.....the next day we went for yet another walk and saw peacocks,deers, and heard all kinds of birds signalling their welcome from hidden retreats...... couldnt visit the library but intend to do so this time.....as we depart tomorrow yet another time there are things i want to do which i coudnt do the last time
1.visit meditation centre
2. visit the rock
3.visit the temple
4.visit the library
4.catch the sunrise....(hopefully....its raining again)
5. walk,walk,walk.
bubye!

Dhwani

Now that Dhwani has come and gone it is time to let down ones hair and relax.........the participation was very less as by the purest luck,we seemed to have hit the date for a fest at the best possible time...when every other college had some exam or another....still it was better than what my worst fears predicted.....and from my side i loved it......there was little or no crisis and time management was very easy for we had enough time in our hands.....this sort of unrushed ease is what i prefer and what i got.......regarding the preparation for dhwani...it involved bunking a lot of classes ...84 hours to be precise ,so my entry to the next semester hangs on to the possibility of successfully getting through the duty leave ordeal. For the first few days we were walking a lot ....to every department ,meeting teachers to have a know on how well the money collection was proceeding.....to be frank it was more walking than i would like (though walking is my passion) and the blazing sum did little to help us.....we soon became the patrons of chechi kada and civil canteen....frequently dropping in for a glass of lime which was nothing short of an elixir in the scorching conditions...the next few days saw us huddled in front of the laptop trying in vain to make 'The Final Schedule'.......every day evening i leave hoping that we have hit on the final one and next day i return to find that there are going to be drastic changes...after much of scheduling and rescheduling we were left with a laptop full of final schedules but no real final schedule.....my classmates would have forgotten me by then if i hadnt made brief appearances during lunch break and free hours....i gradually became a complaint box making frequent ejaculations about how hungry i was and my friends ,hungry as they were, had to bear the brunt. In the evenings deepa and I spent quality time together,sipping lime(the third or fourth one of the day), while we waited for the 'kannammoola ' bus to bless us......my house ,which seems to be on the opposite part of the world from college, could be reached only by that sacred bus and i would wait for it patiently...and once it does come we hop on and try to plant both feet firmly on the floor and brace ourselves for the ride ahead....... all the passengers intend to accompany the bus to its final destination so that leaves me standing all through the half hour journey....once at home i have tea ,tire my parents with the days news and flop down to bed.....but it certainly wasnt all work and no play....infact jack had more play than work....one saturday saw us laughing our hearts out while tom and jerry featured in jerry's laptop....the next day was LH day....feast to eyes and stomach!....and there was enough time and enough people to chat to your hearts desire.......and then dhwani came and my time was my own yet again....i really liked choreonite,rocknite,unplugged and the final night........I'm not one to dance so i enjoyed the proshow rooted to my chair while the entire college danced away!if i had thrived on lime pre dhwani .....icecream was my staple diet during dhwani...the other items in the food court failed to impress so lords and canteen served the purpose.....since my family members cant sleep a single day without my constant chatter in their ears i returned home every day (although at wierd hours) to snuggle to sleep .......and then dhwani was over and things were normal again...classes had to be attended and the glaring concern over duty leave stands first in the to-do list.....
Result: I know a lot more people in my college, I love college all the more and I am no longer bored!!!!....thankfully!

Summer Showers

Atlast the curse has lifted.....as rain drops pelt down onto the burning ground all the pent up heat is released..... as the chill descends on me I coudnt help but smile......Things had been very gruesome for the past few days....with us toiling under the scorching sun...living off cooled lime that dries up inside us the instant we gulp it down......even at home the heat continues to frustrate......every day i meet people on the roads squinting under the sun ,cursing the heat and i join them whole heartedly in wishing that an end would come soon to this torture.....and today as the clouds gathered in the sky and the wind began to pick up pace...i ran to the terrace to catch the first drops...the purest ones...and what a relief when they did come....."the intoxicating smell of rain falling on earth" and the sight of the trees swaying in the chilly wind with an overcast sky in the backdrop shooed away the perpetual frown from my face.......and rain as always brings out the best in things ....nature sports brighter shades and rain drops stick to leaves like jewels.....This was one welcome rain and couldnt have come at a better time .....

The Lost Reins

If only I could gain control
of the horse of time ,that surges ahead,
I ride on its back ,blindly taken forward
like a rider who has lost his reins

Sun shines,decking me with jewels
rain washes them away,leaving me drained
there are paths I wanted to take
but the horse was its own master.
I lost things as I stumbled ahead
but couldnt stop to pick them up.

First I didnt mind the awry ride
I enjoyed the sights that bordered the path
the smell of flowers,the feel of the sun
and the wind whipping at my face.

Then I thought of the way ahead
guessing the paths,anxious of its falls,
iI ve seen danger looming ahead
but the horse had steered me clear.

Then I thought of the things I lost
and looked at them to mourne their loss
with every loss the horse sped up
as I moved ,my tears were wiped dry.

Later I lost all my thoughts on the way
only the journey's end seemed to matter
and when atlast I reached the end
the horse stopped and I found the whip.